After the Socca, Kentucky's e-bantering relaxed to a simmer. Being a good old cynic, I'd expected this. Reality never quite jives with the fantasies in our head and I'd assumed he'd filled in the blanks of my visage with "Japanese Super Model" before he met me. Which if indeed I was one, would make any sane person wonder why I'd be wasting my time e-anything with anyone. But men are endearingly optimistic in the same way dogs think you exist to walk them. This also happens to be why porn works but let's leave that for another day.
So I was stunned when suddenly he was back in full confederate force, asking me where I'd gone after the game. Up till that point, the e-banter had been happily platonic, it would be if I'm calling myself a midget and teasing him about dating his sister right? I'm thinking, great, a diversion from reading about Conflict Minerals in the DRC. Plus Kentucky is a Cancer and having been formerly married to one, let's just say the prospect gives me a bit of dry mouth. He manages to finally ask, "So..do you live by yourself, roommate, boyfriend, husband, circus carney?".
"Not at all, "he replies then somewhat clinically in what I imagine are hushed doctor tones. "But HOW exactly do sperm like you?"
He must think I'm Anais Nin about to bust out the erotica. Instead, I chastise him for losing his Southern manners and quip lightly, "If you must know, sperm like me for my wit and my fabulous dress sense." Light enough? No, it seems beneath the docile blue grass of Kentucky, lays a prurient field. "And I suppose," I asked archly, "you consider yourself eminently qualified to discuss sperm being a long time contributor?"
I am mid-conversation with a colleague who's fussing about losing a few pounds when he rings and I breathlessly answer. "Hey!," he exclaims, "Thought I'd ring you cause my replies to you are bouncing back and I don't want you to think I'm not answering..you know, like I'm not ignoring you or anything. Why do you sound like you have a sinus infection?? Are you ok?"
I just laugh. B the Libra rarely ever called me but I forgot that a Cancer cares.