These are the questions I usually ask myself. Not to say I didn't have my fears or my desires. I do.
Reason is structure, direction and balance. Emotion is not. Emotion is the weave of your soul's fabric. Your internal ocean, able to change shapes, roil one minute and be silently calm the next. It's there to help us FEEL our undeniable truth and actually defy logic if need be, so we can say what really has meaning to us, despite popular opinion or the sensible demands of the situation or other people. It's there so we can participate in Making Fate. Otherwise, if we were all solely logical beings, 95% of what makes the world and the human race what it is today, would never be.
By logic alone, my parents would've never had six children. By logic alone, many of us wouldn't have committed to acts of bravery or courage, or succumb to the weaknesses that allow us to be more loving and compassionate. By logic alone, we wouldn't make the mistakes we make that led to other things. Even for some, their children. So I say, let Reason do its work, and let Emotion do hers. For indeed, she is a woman.
Not me. Not after any logical decision that lines were wrongly crossed or if my feminist was satisfied. Not after a scrutiny of whether or not any of the Rotational are supposed to be playing the roles I assigned to them (which I haven't really done incidentally). No. Somewhere inside each woman is a Goddess who Just Knows, that just as there's no doubt the sun is up today, she's pissed off and she has a right to be. It's primordial and really, senseless to question.
A positive development then absolutely thwarted by an all too quick conclusion. Somehow, despite my natural kindness, I'm aware of being livid.
Let me be clear that even at the moment, I didn't judge him and instead chose to ask him gently if there was anything I could do? Kentucky shrugs and plainly admits that really, there was nothing, this was something only overcome by repetition through the Fullness of Time. And that in fact, it was MY fault, for being so damned exciting.
He may yet still do so, but I'm afraid the blow back would be nuclear. A Truth Serum Silkwood style shower. My ire is obvious to the Council, all of whom tenderly question me about it. "WHY,"I grit back,"would he call ME of all people and sell himself as a Sex Date when he MUST know cosmically that the only way this makes universal sense is if he's open??" They all wisely nod from all four corners of the world, understanding immediately what I meant.
That is to say that my Goddess is angry because she's been called upon, and having visited was given no fitting welcome.
I understood what he never articulated, the need for intimacy beyond the possibility of sexual rejection. Yet so mired was he in his own issues that he forgot the only other person in the room. Me.
I used to tell the Sewer (much good that did) how every argument ever known to mankind boiled down to two questions, if we take it from micro to macro, it's either one of these or a combination of both:
Do you hear/see/know ME? and/or..
Do you love and/or respect me?
Neither implies agreement, just recognition. But a recognition given credence by action that evinces it. I think he pretty much covered both with a NO in one fell swoop of a chicken wing. Pity. But better this way than me frying him up and into a bucket.