I didn't plan it that way, or claim any genius to master minding the feat. Truth be told, I sometimes find myself woefully lacking in Game. In middle school, I was one of those girls completely oblivious to the pining desires of the opposite sex, trust me I wanted it. I just had no idea it was there. Even while professors were dubiously grooming me by telling me how adoringly cute I was unconscious and drooling through their class.
I was as unaware as an El Dorado pygmy sitting on gold I didn't have a clue how to trade in. At least, not until my Psychic Physics Teacher (yes, she really was) decided to entertain us with readings and unnervingly informed me a bevy boys liked me yet had no clue how to approach me.
Well, it wasn't like I didn't speak the local vernacular. I did. But whatever I said, it might as well have been a different language. Moon in Aqua compounded by Mercury in Gemini doesn't quite aid in tightening discourse down to teen gossip or angst. Whilst a friend plainly declared his parents sucked, I was ranting about how democracy couldn't essentially be contained in the family structure, at least not where parents intended to retain effective authority and henceforth, child rearing was most successful by employing a spectrum of governing styles proportional and appropriate to the ages and nature of the off-spring. And that surely, this made communal parenting an idea worth considering as the shared burden would pool resources benefiting both the child and the parents' individuality. Huh?
Sure I had sympathy, it's just that I also happened to have Sociology.
I'm not sure what it was in May that kicked the entire thing off. Maybe it was the Bid for Virginlandia. Maybe it was the Serb Arien Super Qi, powerful enough to activate testosterone mines laying fallow in other men (as the Golden Venus purports and she would know). Maybe it was the fact I just no longer cared. It's my mind, it's not a weapon and yes, it cannot be mechanically extracted from my body without risk of death. And really, eeuw.
I've enjoyed every second of banter and exchange with my Sortie of Lovers. As well as yes, the Hors de Combat of peripheral admirers who never quite launched full pursuit but loitered on the fringes eyeing me. Admiration = Mother's Milk.
Yet now, I sit here in a cafe attacked by odious muzak on a beautiful day that can't quite make its mind up whether it's spring or summer, surrounded by strangers and feeling yes, a little lonely. Kentucky has been running around like a chicken with his head cut off ever since his return from holiday, B is tipped down to quiet on his Libran scales and then there's Dragan.
Dragan who returned with his mighty Serbian Aries Spear and who I must share, I've officially embargoed today. Yes, I know, Mladic has been extradited to the Hague and I am having to do the same with his compatriot. I've gone from Action-Adventure with the requisite violence, romance and sexually gratifying scenes to uhm.. this.
A lull. The battle field pause. Suddenly I know precisely what soldiers mean when they describe war ( or in my case, love) as a lot of waiting around interspersed with bursts of fighting. I begin to appreciate the joy men express at the melee and the impressive bluster of heavy artillery.
Oh, May. I miss you already.