B, whom I once informed about this blog - since he has one of his own he's since abandoned. It seems puzzling that someone I spent the better part of a year with wouldn't want to ask me about my own writing, even when I once opened that door as I'd kissed him sweetly and said, "I hope you don't mind, I do write about you." He'd twinkled at me, returned the kiss and never asked.
One would think that in his search for commonalities, THE basis that B always purported made for successful relationships, writing would be a bond rather than a non-factor. But there it is. Don't ask, don't tell.
"The unfairness of it all," B would grit out as he started a rant. For instance, save for the Ipod, he loathed I-anythings, and I reckon he wouldn't have been spare with the sarcasm had I been hooked on an iphone. He saw Apple as a droid producing cult that enslaved people, brainwashing them through slick products and even slicker marketing. His own ipod is practically a relic and he refuses to change it based on the fact that "it'll do." He sees his grandparents as an example of success, good salt of the earth people who've stayed married for 50 years and never once moved out of state. His grandfather hard-working, and his grandmother smiling through every ache and pain.
Needless to say, I adored how he was a bit old fashioned that way. I tended to be more rogue than he was, only avoiding the Iphone out of a perverse rebellion rather than really any technically sound reason. I'd moved countries, been in a revolution and well, could be a touch unpredictable at times. Between the two of us, B used to look at me in wonder and say, "Are you SURE you're really that old? Because I do a lot of old man shit, more than you ever do. You're like.. really super lively." It made me sound like a fire-cracker, or a cartoon character amped up on pep juice.
What Frugen #2 really meant was how unvarnished. B had listened to this and laughed ruefully, "Well, I kinda understand what he's saying cause I'm like that too." I was driving when he let that little opinion out and almost gave myself whiplash as I looked at him, "Are you serious?" B nodded, "Totally. Most people suck, like I meet someone new and I just think, how long is it going to be till I find more things I don't like because I'm already not wanting to be there." This was anathema to the B I've seen keen to be out and about. I frowned,"But...but..you're fine with me?"
"Yeah, cause you get me, like I don't have to be ON with you.," B explains. Interesting given how socially adept male Librans can be, but it made me think that their networking charm offensive is probably something they treat more as a professional skill they deploy rather than say, something they live for. This is not at all dissimilar to how us Cancerians are famed for our care-taking skills when really there are days we just don't want to be assed and definitely don't want to be obligated to perform to that expectation - even if trust me, we will get up and do it eventually. Because we secretly think no one does it better :)
One of the Work Librans explained to me that he simply could not, would not ever get into any kind of confrontation about anything, he just found it too upsetting. I believed this from the way he trembled during one of our more intense product meetings where he happened to be seated next to a younger female Capricorn who looked at him with an almost neon bubble thought that silently flashed, Get a Sodding Grip! While a simple (to me) thrashing out of the issues could avoid a world of complications, it seems to be akin to a bad stench as far as the Libran male is concerned.
I reflect on this because today, B turns 26. He has been by far, the closest instruction I've had on the Libran male. I bravely write this knowing he would never attempt to look for it, or even if I handed it to him, probably won't read it. I'm the ocean of emotion and he is the sky that can only hold so much rain. This year I won't be celebrating with him, but I celebrate him nonetheless. As my first relationship post Sewerage, B was the best. Light, uncomplicated, steady and sweet. I think for that I'll always have a little love for B.