Like who deserves us, whom we deserve, what deserves yet another chance and what doesn't. I confess, I've found the argument of being "deserved" as the sole basis for judging our relationships somewhat ineffective. I suppose to me, it's stating the obvious.
It's not far from someone howling, "No Fair" on the playground, it doesn't exactly tell us what to do next, how to work with what we feel and worse, it could render us myopic. Tunnel visioned into immediately righting things that we're blinded to what actually is. The why's and wherefores, and more significantly, the who's.
Life becomes about the red pencil and we're displaced from our own individuality, too preoccupied with the act of policing. Who can own our part of the relationship but us? Who can answer the question, what is this really about and what does it mean to me? You can't if you've become nothing more than judge and jury.