I am happy to leave well enough alone with Dragan, figuring it would be simple enough to let slide into ambivalent decline, not unlike a rotting corpse. While we had no agreement to be exclusive, I'd made it clear the burden of proof for commitment would be his. After all, he was the one hankering after an arrangement which would take at least three years with most of the sacrifice on his future spouse's part. To my mind, it's as simple as a business proposition, even if swaddled in mild affection.
It's an investment, and to get a backer, he would have to prove he was solid. And I don't just mean in pictures. Maybe he got lost in translation?
Dragan and I have breakfast the next day, lounging around after dressing, too lazy to go anywhere on a Sunday morning. Like anyone foreign, the weekends are times of catch up with family overseas. He video chats with his sister and a female friend he used to work with, apologizing as both conversations draw out. And completely oblivious he was giving me a demonstration of exactly what I'd outlined were my concerns if this were to go any further.
But he's happy and gregarious, I hear the sister ask what he's eating and realize I'm beginning to digest Serbian words here and there. Prosciutto Italiani, he chattered in Serbian, wrapped around melon slices and it was very good. I glimpse the female friend as I flit by, attractive with cheekbones I'm sure could double as paper cutters, but Dragan while not introducing me, makes it clear to both of them he's with someone as he translates parts of what he said. He tells me about the friend, "I talking to Iliana, she work with me before and her boyfriend also, they send me the Serbian cds." They continue laughing as they catch up on old times, I'm both happy and sad to see him like this.
Happy because home is not just a place, but the people and sad, because I am absolutely right about everything I'd said. It will be a few days before this sinks in, I think and all will depend on what he does. It's past noon by the time he leaves, off once more to yet another Serbian party, he kisses me with familiar affection like we'll be doing this over and over again. Certainly it has that feel to it, but I know this will be the last time. Somehow.
As if dating in and of itself wasn't scary enough, here cometh the online dating scammers. Yes, that's right, not content with Craigslist, they've infiltrated dating sites to convince people like moi (read: too young to give up but almost there) that yes, while they're in some far flung place for whatever noble reason, there is love for you. Yes, you. Finally, it's here. Battling all odds, all the way from Belgium, or Afghanistan. Just for you.
image source: http://www.crackunit.com
Now, I confess I'm not actually the most serious of online daters. I leave my profile up for only one reason: to remind myself I still attract human males when I don't have the time to actually be out there & do it. And for the joy of choosing to ignore it. Really.
Sounds counter-productive I know but there's a weird wisdom to it. I don't actually know how anyone can entertain it without being of laissez faire spirit. I recently attracted the attention of not just one, but TWO online scammers leaving me a bit dazed and confused.
FA on feathers, fangs, furies and all sorts of folly, yes, even the serious kind.
content copyright 2011
Yep, my life, my insanity, my copyright. If you like what you read, let me know :)
Did I use your image & attribute it incorrectly? Sorry! Let me know and I'll take it down. "Sssshhhh" image on blog header by Deborah Azzopardi. It's an amazing print now available thru Ikea.