We think of them, in the days that follow, when we plan our time, run across something we immediately recognize would be enjoyable to them. A song, a show, a shirt. It's so easy and natural for us to weave them into our consciousness. To deny it would be folly, of course, since it's part of what makes us what we are.
The Pegasus had noted that "a man pursues a woman until she captures him" though I much prefer the concurrent saying, "a hunter gets captured by the game". Still, both leave me with cold comfort. While anyone I've loved has my truest feelings, it is first and foremost for the honor of the experience.
Whether it's through keen force or watery half-heartedness, actively driving a relationship, yes, even ones that haven't been given that holy stature, is to deny each person involved what it's there to give each of them. This is a difficult concept for most of us who've been told to name our goals and claim them.
To fully experience partnering, another person cannot become a goal. But just themselves. With you.